While working out at the gym yesterday, Sachin (my roommate) and I ran into Kal Penn! For those that don’t know, Kal Penn is the Indian guy Kumar in Harold & Kumar… and Taj in Van Wilder. Yes, THE Kal Penn.
Background info: Sachin and Kal Penn (referred to as KP from now on), both being from New Jersey, are random distant family friends. Their moms shop at the same Indian grocery store in Edison or something like that. Anyway, KP came to UMich a couple years ago to speak at this South Asian conference, and he hung out with us at a small conference after-party Sachin had at his apartment. Since I chose not to participate in the conference that year, I actually spent the early part of the night at the bar before I came to the after-party, and thus, don’t really remember much of the first time we met.
Anyway, I’m getting a drink of water at the gym when I hear Sachin yell “Hey!” to someone. I look up to see who it is, and damn near crap my pants. A celebrity! And my roommate is talking to him! I walk on over to join in their conversation.
Sachin: So how are things going?….Oh hey, this is my roommate Amish. You actually met him once when you came out to Michigan.
KP says “Oh yeah!” and we shake hands and he kinda gives me the I-don’t-really-remember-who-you-are look. I return with a I-know-you-don’t-remember-who-I-am look, which he returns with a I-know-you-know-I-don’t-remember-who-you-are smile.
After the introduction the conversation continues on…
Sachin: So what are you doing in the city?
KP: Working on a new movie. [etc, etc]
Me: So how long have you be…
[Sachin and KP continue talking]
Sachin: How did you like LA?
KP: It was OK [yadda, yadda, yadda]
Me: When did you mov…
[Sachin and KP continue talking]
Me: Can I feel your shaved hea…
[Sachin and KP continue talking][I feel like KP and I our really connecting in our conversation.]
Sachin: So what are you doing at this gym? Do you live around here?
KP: Yeah, I’m living on XXth and Xth.
Me: Oh wow, we live on…
Sachin: Oh wow, we actually live on 55th and Broadway.
[Sachin and KP continue talking]
Sachin: Hey, there’s actually this Indian dance competition thing that our friends are putting on this weekend. You should come check it out
KP: Oh really? I may have to pick my parents up from the airport this weekend, but let me get your number.
[Sachin gives him his number while I am praying he'll ask for mine]
Sachin: Call my phone real quick so I can have your number.
KP: Well its not really going to show up. It’ll come up as ‘Restricted’ but I’ll leave a message with my number.
All right, let’s slow down here Kal. Restricted? Who do you think you are, Tom Cruise? I mean, ignoring the fact that I personally am a huge fan, who exactly are you trying to hide from? Let’s break down a list of your three biggest roles:
1. Kumar – Harold & Kumar
2. Taj – Van Wilder
3. A.J. – American Desi
Basically, the target audience for those movies is 18-25 year olds. American Desi was a really small film, seen pretty much only by Indians, and let’s face it, your role was less than stellar. We can pretty much strike that film from the record.
Van Wilder – you were great in that one. Your role was hilarious, you really broke out into mainstream entertainment. The movie was probably watched by all races and genders, but the real fans of the movie (the ones who would watch it over and over again) are all college males. And no non-Indian really remembered who you were.
This was proved when Harold & Kumar came out. I can’t think of a single non-Indo person that realized that Taj and Kumar were the same actor. People couldn’t believe it. Even when the fucking commercials told us you were the guy from Van Wilder, people didn’t believe it. It was only the kameo of the guy who played Van Wilder that made people say “OK, maybe.”
So Kal, there’s no need to make your number “Restricted.” There’s really only like twelve Indian males aged 18-25 that even know who you are. And you just gave your number to two of them. Sucker.
P.S. Kal, if you call us this weekend to hang out, and then we all become better friends, and then one day you’re like “I keep hearing about Amish’s blog. I better check it out,” and then you stumble across this post, I just want you to know that I love you.
