To the executives of Potbelly Sandwich Works: For the love of God, will you open a shop in New York?!
To Dominick’s: Your Sangria really is the sweet nectar in this game of life.
To Chris Cooke: Between the insanely strong Long Island, the multiple shots of SoCo/Lime, the round(s) of beers, and of course, your infamous Rick’s sharkbowl, you only charged me about 20 bucks. For that, I thank you.
To Sachin and Ragu: Any love story that involves Drew Barrymore, Jimmy Fallon, and the Boston Red Socks is not going to be good. Thanks for deciding to watch that at ten o’clock in the morning. Cure my hangover, you did not.
To the Indian guy at SigEp: Yes I know, showing up at my frat house 2 years after graduation is a litte wierd, but thanks for supporting me in my beer bong adventures. That Keystone Light tasted great.
To the multiple people involved in Beirut: I’m sorry you suck. I’m sorry I beat you, and ruined your winning streak when I played my first game in 2 years. I’m sorry that I won the next game, and almost won the third game too.
To the people that live on Mary Street: I puked behind your house. Hope you don’t mind.
To Rishi: Thanks for supporting me (literally) in achieving one of my lifelong goals. I have always wanted to be that person who gets picked up by his friends when the Michigan football team scores. That was truly awesome.
To Sebby: Thanks for making my shirt rise up during the lifting up and down. I really appreciated that. Dick.
To the other 107,500: I’m sorry you had to see that.
To Lloyd Carr (and the Michigan Football team): Thanks for squeezing out that win. You couldn’t have made it a more exciting game to come back to Ann Arbor for. I’m sorry for closing my eyes during the last play. You see, I was afraid that we might lose a fourth game this season, and I couldn’t bear to watch. But you pulled it out, and we all cheered, and fell, and lost our voices shouting “Its great….to be….A Michigan Woooolverine.” It was glorious. Mario, you da Man! (-ningham)
To Charley: Your new upstairs bar sucks. It looks like a bathroom. And please tell your bouncer, that yes, “New York” is a state. I’m sure he’s aware of the city called “New York City,” but please let him know that this city SHARES ITS NAME WITH THE STATE THAT IT IS A PART OF. Next time he looks at my ID and says “New York State? You’re joking. This is a fake,” I’m going to slap him.
To the big-boobed girl from Western Michigan University: I liked your big boobs. They were the best part about that upstairs Charley’s.
To my Amigos at Panchero’s: God I miss you so much. And you’re right. It is all about the tortilla. And rice. And beans. And salsa. I don’t care what anyone else says, you’ll always be the best burrito on campus. Fuck BTB.
To Sachin, Rishi, Nitin, Mitesh, Sebby, Jigar, and Joe (who despite having a white-sounding name, is also Indian): I’m still sore from that Sunday morning football game. Yesterday, was the worst…just being awake hurt. And I’m not sure how, but today even the soles of my feet are still sore.
To Everyone: All in all, I had a great weekend. A lot of good friends, a lot of booze and a lot of football. My memory is a bit hazy and there’s probably a ton of stuff that I forgot to mention in here, so let me know if there’s anything you want to add.
