Inside this fenced in area on W 158th St is a small mock-up, called Safety City, of roads and intersections with random signs and other “street” stuff. It’s a driver’s ed course for pedestrians!
I can understand how young children (and even some adults) need to be trained in how to properly walk around New York City, but do we really need to erect practice courses for them? I know the blinking orange hand can throw people off sometimes, but honestly, can’t this type of stuff be taught anywhere – like, I don’t know, a classroom?
Teacher: OK, the lesson for the day is ‘How to Cross Streets.’ When you see the ‘Walk’ signal, you can cross. Sometimes it will say ‘Walk’ and sometimes it will be a picture of a white man walking. If it doesn’t say ‘Walk’, don’t cross. Make sure you look for moving traffic before you step into the street. If there is no ‘Walk’ sign, follow the ‘left-right-left’ rule. Ok, now who wants to practice?
(Jimmy raises his hand)
Teacher: OK Jimmy, pretend your desk is one side of the street, and my desk is the other side. I’ll hold the fake ‘Walk’ sign. I want you to show me how to safely walk across the street.
(Jimmy safely walks across the street)
Jimmy: This shit is easy.
Teacher: Watch your mouth. But you’re right. It is.
(Teacher thinks: Its a good thing we didn’t waste our money on a practice course for this and instead built something useful like a playground.)
What is up with this sign? Why is the little girl so gigantic? (If she’s supposed to be a woman, what’s with the little girl hair-do?) Why doesn’t the old man with the cane have any feet? Why on earth did they decide to put a beatnik in this scene?
Why do they call it a special place?!
Teacher: OK Sally, your turn. Walk ‘safely’ between your desk and mine.
(Sally gets hit by a pretend bus)
Teacher: That’s WRONG Sally! You know where you have to go now…
Sally: Detention?
Teacher: No…the Special Place
Sally: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Who the hell needs practice when learning how to ride in cars safely? Driving is one thing, but riding?
Teacher: Today’s lesson is ‘How to Ride in Cars Safely.’ Step One: Sit in car. Step Two: Put on seat belt. Tomorrow we’re taking a field trip to ‘Safety City’ to practice.
George: Are you fucking serious?
Teacher: Unfortunately. Oh, and watch your mouth.
George: Won’t we need to ride safely in a vehicle to get to Safety City, thereby practicing safe riding before we get to the actual practice.
Teacher: Good point. Who the fuck taught him ‘thereby’?
The fact that this exists is ridiculous and hilarious. It’s ridicularious. Safety City: Where Safety Makes Sense
