No, that’s not the beginning of a joke. Its a true story, one that ends with the Penn State fan saying “Urban Meyer….what a fucking joke. I guess we’ll have to root for OSU.”
And as I sat there alone (the two random fans having taken their food to go), eating the last of my nachos, I savored the moment, the nacho cheese with one hot sauce packet mixed in, for I knew it would be the last happy moment of the evening.*
Hours later, midway through the selection show, our worst fear was realized. The euphoric buzz of the UCLA win officially brought back down to earth by…well you know what.
(Also, a nasty hangover. That didn’t help.)
And seconds, literally seconds, later, the phone calls and text messages and instant messages came in.
To those that received a reply from me (which was everyone, including MY OWN SISTER and the person who literally JUST IM’D ME), please note that I am deeply not sorry for what I said to you. The response you received was spoken from the deepest depths of the bottom of my heart. My message was brief – a simple and blunt “Fuck you” – but its true meaning was “Fuck you, you fucking classless fuck.”
(Sis – I don’t really hate you. But seriously, don’t even think about trying to get in touch with me for a while. Your actions have earned you a ban from my life for the time being.)
You see, I’m a Floridian. Born and raised.
As a young’n, I never really had a college “team”. Like most other first-generation Indian-Americans, I didn’t have a parent whose fan-dome (fan-ship? fan-ness?) for a team, or even a sport, I could inherit. Not geographically tied to any one market, I generally went with the flow of whichever team was having the best year, or whichever team had my best-friend-of-the-moment as a fan. More often than not, this team was Miami or Florida, but for all intents and purposes, I was never a die-hard fan of either.
Then I went to college. I found my team, my loyalty, before classes even began. I became first and foremost a Wolverine. I went to almost every home game for four years. I went to three out of four bowl games during my four years at school (I couldn’t afford to go to the last one). But some of my closest friends, and eventually my own sister, would become Gators. And so even though I became a card-carrying resident in the Big House, over the years I also became an honorary citizen of the Gator Nation (Good Lord, that sentence was retarded. But I’m lazy, so its staying.)
I spent two spring breaks visiting my buddies at school there. I came home to Florida for two summers during college, and spent weekends in Gainesville every chance I could. I’ve spent more time in that city than any other city that I haven’t been a resident of, and I am closer with friends-of-friends there than I am with some of my own close friends from Michigan (if that makes sense).
I saw Florida State come play at the Swamp, and wore Orange and Blue to the game. When Michigan came to Tampa to meet Florida in the Outback Bowl (2003), I wore my Maize and Blue, but sat in the Florida student section.
I was touched by the end of the Spurrier era. I lamented with my friends during the Zook years, and was happy when he was finally shown the door. Every year, at least one of my March Madness brackets had Florida as a Final Four team, and last year, I cheered for them in the Championship game, and congratulated them when they won.
So that’s what makes this so hard. My #1 school being slighted by my #2. For reasons beyond my comprehension…
The “It Should Be A Conference Champion” Argument. An excuse for the pollsters to not pick Michigan. Nothing more. This argument implies that all conference champions are better than all conference second place teams. It hurts a team (like Michigan) for playing extremely well in a conference whose champion is playing even better. Furthermore, on the same argument, why not send USC to the game? Sure they have two losses, but they still won their conference. PLUS, they played a pretty tough schedule, beat their common opponent with Florida WAY better than Florida did, and beat their common opponent with Michigan almost as well as Michigan.
The “You Had Your Chance” Argument. This isn’t about how many chances a team has had. It’s about the two best teams playing for the title, regardless of whether or not they’ve already played each other. Florida fans, OF ALL PEOPLE, should know that. (If you are a Florida fan and are reading this and have no clue what I’m talking about, go lookup your 1996 season, then stab yourself in the eye with a rusty screwdriver. Phillips head, for a prettier entry wound.)
Strength of schedule? You might have a slight edge – but the difference is not enough to merit a spot in the game. Remember, your schedule also had a bye week and a I-AA opponent. Style points (an argument made in the regular season)? They aren’t a factor in the computer rankings (seriously, look it up, margin of victory is long gone). And while human voters probably do treat scoreboards in some regards, it’s not like you “chose” not to get higher scores. It’s that you couldn’t earn them. Shit, half the time other teams were giving you points. You didn’t win games. The other teams lost them.
In the end, these arguments in favor of Florida are ones that not even Florida fans would buy if they were on the losing side. (What would you say if Florida had beat Auburn, went to the SEC championship game unbeaten, but then lost to Arkansas? Would the ‘conference champ’ argument still apply, or would you still defend a title game berth the same way pre-week-15 USC (‘bad loss, but whatever’) did?)
I think what bothers me (and just about every Michigan fan) most is that after Michigan-OSU, Michigan was still ranked higher than Florida. Followed by the next week, in which Michigan did not play, and Florida (barely) beat laughing-stock-FSU. Michigan- STILL ON TOP. The voters seemed to be in agreement for most of the season that Michigan was the better team – but when the time to face the reality of a rematch came, they ran and hid behind bullshit rationale and an unconvincing Florida win over Arkansas. This was clearly a nation of voters who were voting not for Florida, but against Michigan-OSU. Any Florida fan that thinks that anti-rematch sentiment is not a significant, if not primary driver (we’ll never know for sure) for them getting into the championship game is seriously fooling themselves.
And yes this whole thing points to the flaws of the BCS. Blahbitty blah blah.
And while I’m pissed off about everything that shook down in the BCS, I’m ultimately more angry that these friends and family felt the need to rub one fucking hundredth of a point in to my face. They know how much I love my team. The lengths (literally) I’ve gone to for them this year. What every season, but especially this one, has meant to me. They’ve read every word, and there were thousands of them, that I’ve written about this season. My best friend from high school called me Saturday, shortly after the Florida win, but before anything had been decided. Both of us in loud places, not much was said and the conversation ended abruptly. But yesterday and today have come and gone, and I still have not heard from him. He has had the decency to know that I shouldn’t be bothered. (Or he just forgot, but either way, he’s on my good side). But the others, some who are ever so slightly more than acquaintances ….That they felt the need to text/call/IM and gloat at their good fortune, to hit me while I was down….it makes me want to [I can't even find words to finish this sentence].
(As I write this, one of the guilty parties sent me an IM saying “u know we’re gonna get rocked”. I feel slightly better.)
I’ve got to stop. I was up till 4 am last night (and its becoming a late night again tonight) my emotions preventing me from getting the rest that my body desperately needs. I told myself this wouldn’t be a long post and it has gone and become one. I didn’t want to rant but I did. I sound like a certain SEC coach (yep, I went there).
There’s nothing I can say or do anymore but try to be nice and congratulate them (both teams) on getting there, so…Congratulations…I guess.
And its only been one day, so I’m going to give myself some time to calm down. I’m not making a decision yet as to who I am going to root for. On the one hand, there’s Ohio State, the team I’ve been trained to hate. The team I hate to see winning. The Voldemort to my Harry Potter.
And on the other hand, there’s Florida, my second-favorite team, but the team sitting in the spot where I think my favorite team should sit. And a coach whose face I want to slam a pie into, because although a fist would inflict more damage, a pie would be much more humiliating. And of course, the fanbase I’m not particularly fond of at the moment.
In any other year, I’d root for Florida hands down, but this year, I’m not so sure I will. Part of me wants an OSU blowout, and another part of me wants OSU to win 38-30 (see 2003 Outback Bowl). And yet another part of wants it to be four point Florida loss, as kind of an ultimate vindication for all of this. And there’s the I-hate-OSU part of me that hates the first three parts for even entertaining those kinds of thoughts. I’d put up a voting thing here to help me decide, but truth be told, I wouldn’t have any faith in the results…
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Related link dump:
Johnny ponders the outcome early…
Turner’s thoughts
The Realests create a poll. Don’t they know any better?
To their credit, they also propose a solution
Brian thinks the world has gone crazy. He also says a bunch of other stuff, and puts Urban Meyer on notice.
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*Yes, I know. Eating Taco Bell yesterday was probably not the best idea, given the news of e. coli outbreaks occurring on both sides of New York City in the last few days. I hope I don’t die. That would be the mini-cherry on top of the regular-sized cherry on top of the sundae that the crappiness that is my life, wouldn’t it? Florida over Michigan. Taco Bell over me.
