A couple months ago, I went to my friend John’s wedding in Florida, and in the absence of a bathing suit, took a midnight swim in nothing but my undies.
Last month, I went to another wedding in Florida where I yet again took a swim. Only this time, it was indoors. And the pool (which was really just a fountain in the lobby) was only eight inches deep.
Also, I was fully clothed.
I’d been sitting on the bench-like edge of the pool when the two assholes to my left had the idea to throw me in. Luckily, through a combination of their own incompetence and my unwillingness to go down without a fight, they fell victim to their own attack.
I have one more wedding to attend this summer, and my goal is to make it into the pool wearing an actual bathing suit.
